so right now its 3:03 am. and i have an 8am class. please tell me why im still up!
first off...the fact that i had an 8am class yesterday morning forced me to sleep all afternoon when i got home. woke up when it was dark. so im up. im pretty sure this is the beginning of a very screwed up cycle.
my week started horribly. sorry no details. bc if i start talkin bout the events that lead to that first sentence...i will get pissed off all over again. and i dont need that bc i think things are beginning to look up. i'll give u a clue...just when i needed it the most...i found the $10 i thought i lost this morning. yay!
lately i been thinkin a lot about my future. i've been in school a lot longer than i wanted to be. and i wont be done anytime soon. again, no details cuz it might make me cry. but, over the weekend i got a sudden burst of optimism. i pretty much mapped out my whole academic/work career between now and the end of grad school. makes me feel good. makes me wish time would go by even faster than it already is.
Then, i think about real life. like...my future outside of school and work. One thing u all might need to know about me is, my biggest goal in life...believe it or not...is to be a wife and mother. i want nothing more than to marry the love of my life and bear children that come to be perfect representations of our best attributes. i am not one of those "career women" (no offense of course) who prefers to reach a certain step on the corporate ladder b4 they decide to make a family. thats not how it works in my world. i do want to finish school and be a Neonatal Nurse Practitioner <----click the link)...and i WILL. but to me, it comes secondary. Yet...i MUST be smart about it. i know i am not ready for children yet because i do wanna reach a certain place in my education where i feel like i can take on such a big responsibility. but here's my thing: my initial plan was to wait til im done wit school to have my babies...but...what do i do when school is takin much longer than i anticipated?? do i keep putting it all on hold?? i mean...madd ppl go to school with children...if they can do it...why cant i?
lemme stop ranting.