Tuesday, March 2, 2010


so right now its 3:03 am. and i have an 8am class. please tell me why im still up!
first off...the fact that i had an 8am class yesterday morning forced  me to sleep all afternoon when i got home. woke up when it was dark. so im up. im pretty sure this is the beginning of a very screwed up cycle.

my week started horribly. sorry no details. bc if i start talkin bout the events that lead to that first sentence...i will get pissed off all over again. and i dont need that bc i think things are beginning to look up. i'll give u a clue...just when i needed it the most...i found the $10 i thought i lost this morning. yay!

lately i been thinkin a lot about my future. i've been in school a lot longer than i wanted to be. and i wont be done anytime soon. again, no details cuz it might make me cry. but, over the weekend i got a sudden burst of optimism. i pretty much mapped out my whole academic/work career between now and the end of grad school. makes me feel good. makes me wish time would go by even faster than it already is.
Then, i think about real life. like...my future outside of school and work. One thing u all might need to know about me is, my biggest goal in life...believe it or not...is to be a wife and mother. i want nothing more than to marry the love of my life and bear children that come to be perfect representations of our best attributes. i am not one of those "career women" (no offense of course) who prefers to reach a certain step on the corporate ladder b4 they decide to make a family. thats not how it works in my world. i do want to finish school and be a Neonatal Nurse Practitioner <----click the link)...and i WILL. but to me, it comes secondary. Yet...i MUST be smart about it. i know i am not ready for children yet because i do wanna reach a certain place in my education where i feel like i can take on such a big responsibility. but here's my thing: my initial plan was to wait til im done wit school to have my babies...but...what do i do when school is takin much longer than i anticipated?? do i keep putting it all on hold?? i mean...madd ppl go to school with children...if they can do it...why cant i? 

lemme stop ranting.


  1. well i'm so glad i'm reading this--and at 6.35 in the morning!
    1) we really have a lot of catching up to do when i see you later this month...march 27 (yay)!
    2) i'm happy that you see yourself having a bright future. it's great to have that kind of outlook on life.
    3) how many years in school do you have left? i have some friends who did their 4 years and plan to go to 3 years of grad school this fall. i also know some people who wish they were still in school--even if for 7 years--because they are not happy with the current workforce. me...i don't want to go back to school or go to work--i'm a loser. :)
    4) i think it's great that you are determined to become a neonatal np, and i commend you for sticking with it.
    5) even though there are people who have babies and are in school at the same time, i can tell you it is truly difficult. ask dayse's sister. or go watch a marathon of Teen Mom on hulu. not saying you can't do it, just saying that it's super difficult. and i think the best thing for a baby is love, means and time. and you may have the love but will you have the means and time while also doing grad school? i think the baby will benefit more if you wait.

    ok...my 2 cents and now i'm done.


  2. aww thanx for the advice bestie!!!

    i have about 4 yrs left bc, i had madd setbacks, plus right now im takin a break and doing a medical assisting program so i can get a healthcare job while in school (cuz im NOT tryna work at the mall!)

    and please believe i have watched every episode of 16 and preggy and teen mom since the beginning! lol. Love it! And i know it would be extremely difficult...its just that...the setbacks i had were (of course) unanticipated...and i have no idea what kinda setbacks may come in the future to set me back further...and im not tryna pop too many kids out past 30!! lol

  3. getting a job in your field while still in school is great. beats the mall any day.

    i think we need to talk in person about this popping out babies thing! lol
    will you be here march 26 or 27?

  4. im actually gonna try to come on the 25th cuz its the same price as the 26th. So im gonna try to meet up wit some family while im there thursday...then im all yours!